Dirty, wet public toilets, people shoving each other to get on the train, disabled parking spots being occupied by the able-bodied. Surely you’d ask, are people really this ill-mannered?
Hate to break it to you, but this is the reality of our fellow citizens in Malaysia. Before you try to defend yourself and say “I’m not like that”, I’d suggest you think back deep enough to address the issue. We’ve all been lacking in our manners one way or another. Some unfortunately even more than others. I’m ready to admit that I could’ve done better in a lot of other situations.
The 26th President of the United States of America, Theodore Roosevelt once stated that - “Politeness is a sign of dignity, not subservience”. This idea has obviously not materialised in the heads of our fellow Malaysians. Ethics, courtesy, values and general mannerisms should be the base of every civilised society so that we can produce good leading and respectful citizens leading to a more professional and united society. But, unfortunately, in ours, it has taken a back-seat role in the list of priorities since our citizens opt to focus on gaining material wealth, status, power and fame instead. This has led to the various public, private and online misconducts we see today. The perception seems to be that being polite and having manners is a display of weakness leading to a sense of inferiority.
A simple walk around the busy and bustling streets of Kuala Lumpur will often leave you disgusted at the simple disregard of manners that our people seem to project. People spitting in public and the littering of cigarette butts and rubbish on the pavements are considered the norm. In regards to public transport, people often rush into the various trains and buses that the city offers, not allowing people to exit first, whilst the able-bodied and young are often sat in seats they surely do not deserve, leaving the pregnant, elderly and disabled of the city to stand and face an often uncomfortable and possibly dangerous transit.
Constant reminders in the form of radio announcements and signboards in public toilets offer tips and advice to our general public, on how to behave and what not to do. Shouldn’t things like saying “please” and “thank you”, and flushing/keeping the toilet dry be part of common sense? Are we that lousy that we rely on signboards to be decent human beings? The worse thing is that, even with all these repetitive signs, people still seem to lack the obvious decency to follow through. Never has there been any other country felt the need to remind its citizens to be more humane and well-mannered.
Considering the fact that Malaysia is made up of various religions and that even religious scripts have extracts on mannerisms such as the Quran - Al-Baqara (The Cow) - 2:44 which encompasses the concept that you “shouldn't order others to do good while forgetting it yourself” and the Bible – Mark 12:31 which states – “Love your neighbour as yourself.' There is no commandment greater than these." People are still obviously missing the point despite having religion as the cornerstone of their lives.
Worryingly, the current youth seems to be continuing this trend of disregarding good manners. Sights of children shouting at their parents, skipping ‘q’s’, and not saying thank you and please when required occur far too often far it to be considered as an anomaly. The increased use of social media has also enabled the youth to project their lack of respect through the virtual world. Heated and rude arguments, name calling and malicious statements are considered the standard procedure for most youths who are using the internet nowadays.
Brian Dorai, a Psychology lecturer at INTI College, attributes this to the lack of attention provided by parents towards their children. He states - “But due to parents nowadays busy chasing the dollar, parents tend to pass responsibilities to teachers at school instead to educate them on moral values which shouldn’t be the case as parents have more time with their children compared to the 7 hours at school,” said Brian. He further on continued by stating that we should introduce more positive activities to engage the community and teaches the youth how to relate and respect each other.
Some have argued that it is also the education system’s role to ensure that they produce individuals equipped with high moral values. A background of wealth and status does not guarantee a refined behaviour. Formal education is often needed since most of our youth’s years includes them being stuck in a classroom. These correct values have to be instilled in our youth whilst young and be continuously reinforced so that it becomes part of their very nature
Others have added on a third solution. Social activist Tan Sri Lee Lam Thye states that “So besides parental guidance and moral education that needs to be improved, it is also the responsibility at large to always point out the faults of anyone who for example may have misbehaved in public,”. He encourages the public to take charge and to be more socially aware to make sure everything is in order.
Manners and courtesy are essential to humanity and societal balance. It is about how we treat each person we meet regardless of age, sex, race or religion. Malaysia is an extremely multicultural society therefore what is wrong in having good manners? After all, good manners are linked to better financial success, job prospects, better relationships, and provides a more balanced and positive aspect to our society.
Maybe before we rush through the door, we should offer a hand next time? Who knows… just, maybe we could help change the world with that.